just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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