i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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