Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
