all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
