covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
