So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
