For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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