yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
