nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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