Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You smell like stripper and shame
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
