You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
