i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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