Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
