absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
