Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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