Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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