five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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