Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
