I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
