Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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