Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
