Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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