So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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