Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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