it hurts more in the daytime
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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