So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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