She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
