Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
