I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
