Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
