I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
