Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
whose parrot is this?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
