CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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