he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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