i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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