thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i think i just lost a toe
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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