I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
