it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize