Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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