2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
