just tell him i said nine months
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
