JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
ambylanc
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
