I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
