i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
