just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
