Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
