Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
