New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
