remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
