I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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